Reading Is Fundamental

Excerpt from the book "Please Pass The Pork" Politics, Corruption, and Collusion in Small Town America by Terry G Bernard.

Small town America is not without its share of political corruption. The difference in big government and small town government is the fact that in small town government, there are more people with more intelligence closer to the source of the corruption. For example, in the small town where I grew up, the "good ole' boy" system of government is alive and well. The problem lies not with the numbers of people that know it exist, but with the numbers of people that care. In small town government there are many people in positions of power that were drawing their last breath when Strom Thurmond won his first election. These people have become comfortable with the "status quo", and could care less whether things ever change. Why make things better for others when you are still going to be nearly dead while they are out enjoying all the things you have given them. Then of course there is the money. Many elected officials in small town government are local business owners. Now whether or not these officials were successful business owners does not seem to be the issue, many failed and bankrupt businessmen feel that the only thing left for them to do once they have proven they they cannot manage their own money is to manage everyone else's. Of course managing the finances of an entire city must be much easier than managing your own because you have the advice of the local "special interest" groups to give you advice on how they can, excuse me you can spend those funds. Interestingly, access has much to do with expenditure. For example, for a lobbyist in Washington D.C. to request spending on whatever stupid venture he is lobbying for at the moment, he has to make appointments, and so on. In small town America, you just go down to the local eatery where everyone hangs out, and there always is one, buy one of the old geezers breakfast and BOOM your in. Now, common sense rarely is involved. Common sense in small town government is what many people in other cultures call "voodoo". It is sinful and should be avoided at all costs, and know this for certain, the costs can be astronomical. In the next chapter we will discuss and define "special interests" as it pertains to small town America.



It's amazing how small towns can be so much alike no matter which one you call home.

Your Doing What?

For those of you who know me you will understand exactly how big of a deal what I am about to say really is. For those of you who don't know me, ask someone who does and they will explain. I am going on a road trip to Atlanta Georgia. What did he say? Georgia? He can barely get out of the house without medication. Yes I will be embarking on a trip to Atlanta Georgia this weekend. I will be traveling in a big rig to deliver some items in Atlanta. I have my prescriptions filled and I am ready to rock and roll. I think. I hope. Well maybe I shouldn't go. Home is much safer. You know, bad things happen to people who go outside. You see it on the news all the time.

Shameless Yard Sale Post.

I have some items that I need to sell. So I thought I would attempt to sell them here. So here we go.


1. JVC super VHS Digital signal processing camcorder. 25x optical 1000x digital zoom. This means at one hundred yards you can read the date on a nickel. Also it is equipped with night vision three extra batteries and one high capacity battery chargers and carrying case. 100 dollars will get it. I have shot exactly 8 minutes of video since I bought it new. All the promotional stickers are still attached.

2. Blackberry 6280 smartphone for Cingular. Phone PDA and all. Pop in your SIM card and your ready to go. 30.00 gets it. Phone is working fine.

3. Sony Playstation 2. All the gadgets and bells. Remote controll, memory card, infared adapter, and several games. First 90.00 is the winner.

Items number two and three were brought in to my shop for repair and never picked up. All are working perfectly and you are welcome to test them before you purchase. Pictures of phone and camera are here for you to see. Did not photograph Playstation because it is in my bedroom and that is just creepy. If interested e-mail me at stuff-forsale@hotmail.com.

Ways To Secure A Position Within City Government.

Here is a short list of ways to assure yourself a position in city government.

1. Be fired by the outgoing Mayor.

2. Campaign heavily for the incoming Mayor.

3. Do not criticize your own personnel in public.

4. Say "pretty please"

How Not To Get Fired.

With the recent release of a city official I thought it prudent to list ways not to get fired if you are a city employee.

1. Do not sit in a public eating establishment and state that people died because the personnel you are in charge of are "too slow."

2. DON'T LET SOMEONE OVERHEAR YOU SAY IT!!!!!!

3. If said "total stranger" does hear you say it and you know that he heard you eliminate him with extreme prejudice before he has the opportunity to go back and tell the Mayor who may not like you very much already.

These are just a few tips that can make your life a little easier if you are employed by the city.

Now There Are Flowers.

In springtime, the only pretty ring time, birds sing a ding a ding a ding. Sweet lovers love.....the spring.

Gettin All Gussied Up....

My stepmother spent her day today building flower boxes to go in the front of the store and my place. She is getting the place all gussied up and "prettified". I will soon start planting my hanging gardens, like I usually do during the summer. Grape tomatoes, jalapeno peppers and the like. I just hope that once they get ripe that they will stay there long enough for me to enjoy them. Folks have a tendency to abscond with them once they have ripened, at least that is the way it was at my previous residence. I figure with the customers coming in and out things will pretty much be the same or worse maybe. Of course I was a known watermelon thief in my old neighborhood so there is little I can say.

The Germans Had Nothing To Do With It...

Why did I name this post as I did? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why was the fire chief removed from his duties and someone else appointed that probably has less training than half of the current department members? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why was a Mayor elected that is running the city like his own personal Roman Empire? Who knows, but the Germans had nothing to do with it. Why is it still illegal to "goose-step" in Belgium? Ok, the Germans had something to do with that one. How long will it be before we are marching in the streets of Monticello in uniform preceded by trucks pulling missiles under the watchful eye of Kim Jong Rogers? Who knows, but the Germans won't have anything to do with that either.

HEH HEH......She Said POO....

Now I will not call anyone out on this or name names. But there is someone out there right now reading the title to this and saying to themselves...I knew he wouldn't pass that up. After Church Services on Sunday I decided (while the pills were working) to go out to eat. Now I never do this. EVER!!!! So I tra la la'd down to ye ole Western Sizzlin. Or if your from the south Western Sizzler (because we are to stupid to realize that Western Sizzlin and the Sizzler are two totally different franchises.) Someone came in I knew with his family and his wife graciously invited me to dine with them. We were having wonderful conversation everything going smoothly and suddenly from across the table, and excuse me for not remembering the context or verbiage, the word POO!!!! Yes ladies and gentlemen POO!!!!!! If you have children you know what a moment like this means the first time your family is around someone new (that would be me). I think they were discussing the flavor of a cake recipe actually and she was weighing in on the intricacies of it's flavor and texture, but forgive me if I am mistaken. If this type of thing has happened to you as a parent....join the club, if not...where are you hiding? Are you one of those people that you only see at the county fair? You know those people. You never see them at Wal Mart, or Piggly Wiggly. Just at the county fair. Usually wearing cutoff dress slacks, black dress socks, sandals, and a "Where's The Beef" t-shirt as a topper. So thank you for an entertaining lunch little miss "name withheld for legal reasons" and thank you to the grown ups too, you were pretty interesting yourselves.

How Many...

It is one of the classic questions. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? How many _______________(fill in whatever here) does it take to screw in a light bulb? And, my newest favorite....How many ordinary southerners does it take to put a blade on a circular saw. The answer is three. You see only two mind you I know. The third, my father, is inside getting his glasses because that's what the problem is of course. Note his empty chair by the picnic table. I love every day stuff.

My Loyal Companion......

She is with me no matter what. She never judges me. She is always glad to see me when she gets to. And she chases a ball like nobody's business

I Wondered If I Still Had It.....

I was wondering this evening while working on a customer's computer if I still had the ability to what I call a "case up" system build. So after finishing with the customer's laptop, and by the way Jeff, it was a MAC, yes they do break down too, I thought I would give it a go. Empty case, boxes full of parts, fifty three minutes later, working computer. I still got it. Rarely in this area do you get the opportunity to build a system from "case up". here are some pictures I took during the testing phase and then of the monitor with software installed and connected to the internet. I love my job....

Yep.....He is there.

As may of you may know and most of you may not I posted the other day that I would be attending church today. Now a few of you know what that really means. For those of you who do not, I will not try to explain right now but just let me say that it is not an easy task. My concern was whether Jesus was there. I must say without a doubt YES he is there. It was a wonderful experience and I wonder if today's speaker knew I was coming or somehow knew the struggles I have been going through. I know he didn't which makes todays experience even more profound. I suggest that you attend Journey Church as soon as possible. There is something going on there that is powerful. I will return and Jeff, if your reading this THANK YOU for inviting me. I will return.

This Is...

This is the machine that makes what we think up in our heads into reality. We come up with a design, feed it into a computer and this machine makes it real. Basically a robot the size of a small car.

The View...

No it is not what you are thinking. This is the view I see every day while I am working......Wonderful I think.

Big Brother is Watching.....

IP Address		141.116.142.# (Army Information Systems Command-Pentagon)
ISP		Army Information Systems Command-Pentagon
Location		Continent : North America Country : United States (Facts) State : District of Columbia City : Washington Lat/Long : 38.8933, -77.0146 (Map) Distance : 766 miles
Language		English (United States) en-us
Operating System		Microsoft WinXP
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Monitor		Resolution : 1024 x 768 Color Depth : 32 bits
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Visit Entry Page		http://melancholyinm...icello.blogspot.com/
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You never know who is lurking..

The Struggle Continues....

As I sit here writing and reflecting on the events of the day with "Elton John" playing in the background I feel pretty good... considering I have been without sleep for several weeks now. When I say without sleep please understand I mean not one moment of sleep. Up for almost two weeks now. Last night I asked God to quiet my mind so that I may get some rest. I repeated it over and over and the next thing I know I am waking up this morning with the alarm clock blaring. I slept. I couldn't believe it. So I asked God tonight what I need to do. I have been in a "soul struggle" for several weeks now. And the first thing that popped into my mind after asking God what I should do was Jeff. Jeff is a friend and Pastor of a local church. So I emailed him for the Sunday Worship schedule. Since I received his reply suddenly I feel calm, my mind is not racing, obsessing, flying away on it's own. And, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Now I don't mean actual physical pain. It just doesn't hurt anymore. It has hurt for along time, years now I would say. Now I am no angel. I have run course through most of the Commandments. But, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Peter Gabriel (In Your Eyes) playing now. I asked another friend of mine who is a Pastor about attending a new church. He asked if they had Jesus. I said I didn't know. He told me if they did then they are doing just fine. I hope Jesus is there. I am ready to meet him, I think we will have lots to talk about.

More New Stuff

These are my friends Bill and Hillary. They live in a white house and fight constantly and are rather promiscuous when let out of the white house so I figured it was only fitting.

Something New..

I thought I would try something new with my brand new digital camera. Maybe let some of you in on aspects of my life that people rarely see. So here we go. This is where I do my work when I am at home. Pretty sad huh?

Understatement at the Least....

This is a news story I found a bit ago. Read through and then read through below with subliminal goodness added in parentheses.

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department say the packages originated in China and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment. Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received. Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens that do not pose a health risk to the public.

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies. Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.

Now the subliminal goodness.....

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.(Get the Door...It's Dahmer-noes)

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department(Frank and Earl) say the packages originated in China(cause they make body parts cheaper there) and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order(see this Ebay Seller's other items) when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.(remove "noticed the body parts" insert "pooped their pants")

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment.(NO KIDDING) Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received.(by who exactly) Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens(like Hershey's Kisses) that do not pose a health risk to the public.(it's all funny till someone loses an eye..or finds one)

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies.(attention all units..be on the look out for THING from the Addams Family) Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.

A Quick Thought......

If two times two is always four.......What good is it????

An Apology Would Be Good.....

I read something interesting a bit ago. It seems that at the legislative update today one of our Senators opened his discussion with an apology. In the state of the world today I think every political leader should be compelled to do that. Just say "hello, my name is Senator so and so, and by the way....I am really sorry." Why do I say that you ask. Because they owe us an apology. They all do. Now I know this Senator personally. I know his wife. I was there when she won her city council seat by drawing a number from a hat. Yes thats right. The election was so close they held a run off and that was a tie so they drew numbers from a hat. She drew the number one. Now thats how you hold an election. Remember that game on the Price is Right where contestants drew numbers from a bag while avoiding the red tiles with the black letter X. I think we should elect presidents that way. First one to draw the tile with the Presidential seal wins. I mean there is no difference anyway. All politicians are the same. They are for or against whatever the hot topic at the time is and that is pretty much it. I think we should have elected John Kerry. So what if he was a "waffler", we all are. We want better education, schools and hospitals but no taxes. We want hamburgers and fries and the right to sue when they make us fat. We want politicians that will lie to get what we want as long as they don't lie to us. We want salvation but not religion,(and yes there is a difference). Yep, he should have been President. At least he was one of us. So ladies and gentleman living in the land of the free and the home of the fried Twinkie, don't you think it would be refreshing if at the next state of the union address, the President opened with "My Fellow Americans.......Man I'm really Sorry."

Word of The Day....

Fiscal Responsibility: The knowledge that you must make more money than you spend and that spending must be done on a carefully planned basis. Doctors believe that we have a gene that activates in our DNA somewhere around the age of seventeen that allows us to realize that we must have fiscal responsibility. Doctors at the Mayo Clinic recently discovered that this gene can only be removed by winning the lottery or being elected to public office in the small town of Monticello Arkansas.