Understatement at the Least....

This is a news story I found a bit ago. Read through and then read through below with subliminal goodness added in parentheses.

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department say the packages originated in China and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment. Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received. Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens that do not pose a health risk to the public.

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies. Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.

Now the subliminal goodness.....

CASCADE TOWNSHIP -- A Cascade Township couple made a disturbing discovery when two extra packages containing human body parts were delivered to their home.(Get the Door...It's Dahmer-noes)

Investigators with the Kent County Sheriff's Department(Frank and Earl) say the packages originated in China(cause they make body parts cheaper there) and were supposed to be delivered to a laboratory in Traverse City. Instead, the driver from DHL accidentally thought the extra packages were part of the couple's order(see this Ebay Seller's other items) when he made the delivery on Thursday.

The couple opened the other packages and noticed the body parts.(remove "noticed the body parts" insert "pooped their pants")

The two extra packages are part of a much larger shipment.(NO KIDDING) Investigators say three of the original five boxes shipped have been received.(by who exactly) Of the two missing boxes, there could be up to 30 individually wrapped specimens(like Hershey's Kisses) that do not pose a health risk to the public.(it's all funny till someone loses an eye..or finds one)

Now a statewide alert has been sent to police agencies.(attention all units..be on the look out for THING from the Addams Family) Authorities say anyone who receives these packages by mistake, shipped by DHL, should contact police.