The Chicken, The Egg, and The Garden of Eden

I mentioned my whole theory about the first person to see an egg fall out of a chicken and wonder "can I eat that?" a few weeks ago and have follow up requests to explain my theory so here we go.

When God first turned control of the garden of Eden over to Adam the Bible states that God walked with Adam through the garden regularly. Here in lies my theory. Adam and God were walking through the garden one day when they happened upon a chicken just as it laid an egg. God looked at Adam and said "you know you can eat those." and Adam said "yeah right your not going to get me with that one." So God pulled out a frying pan, where did he get a frying pan you ask, he is God if he wants a frying pan he gets a frying pan. So he whips out the skillet whips up some fire and fries up the egg. Adam tries it and wow isn't that tasty. So God goes back to heaven leaving Adam with his new discovery. The next day God returns to find Adam, a frying pan, a fire, three frogs two turtles a basketball and a large rock. God realizes very quickly that he cannot be there all the time and this Adam guy is gonna end up killing himself trying to eat stuff just lying around so he wonders what to do. After some thinking he comes up with an idea, he tells Adam that you can't eat everything and to help him figure out what you can and can't eat he is going to provide him with a mate and call her Eve. Here begins the problem.

This Is The Whole Thing..... This Right Here.

I am unsure really how to begin this post but I am feeling rather misunderstood. 

I am being told that I hate Monticello. That my opinions are dangerous, subversive, and who knows what else. It is time to set some things straight.

I do not believe that the leaders of the "pro tax" stance are bad people. I do however believe they have a bad idea. Let me give you an example.

I will walk into a local bank at nine a.m. tomorrow. I will walk directly to the nearest loan officer and introduce myself. I will the tell that loan officer that I would like he or she to loan me lets say 1 million dollars. When he or she asks me what I want the loan for, I will tell her or him, that I really don't have a plan for the money, I just think I may need it someday. What are my chances? I would say my chances are few.

Tomorrow, a small rural fire department will send a grant proposal to our representatives in the capitol. On the line stating what the grant will be used for they write that they have no specific plan for the money, but someday they may want to improve something. What are their chances?

It is that simple. Those simple examples explain everything. These are the same people that are asking you to give them millions of dollars and then are getting angry when someone asks what it will be used for. What plan is there to make things better?

I AM NOT AGAINST A TAX!!!!!!! I am against the bad ideas of a few, that could cause suffering of the many. Notice that I did not say "will cause" but "could cause". The question you must ask yourself is that are you willing to take that chance?

The amazing thing is the personal attacks against me and others who do not agree with the tax. I received a comment today in which I was called an idiot, fat, aggressive, and it was implied that I was unemployed. A note to the "pro-tax" people. It only takes one person reading comments like are being left on my site and others, and that one person realizing that the last ditch effort in any argument is for the side that feels it is losing, or feels that it cannot defend its position on an issue, is to get personal and you are done. They will assume you are desperate and grasping for straws and you will get nowhere. Educate and control your people. If the only argument that you can come up with this early in the game is that I am a fat, aggressive, idiot..... your chances of pulling off a win here are slim.

This is an open invitation to any leader from the "pro-tax" viewpoint, change my mind. Come to my home, you are welcome. We will discuss this issue. Come as a group, feel free. I would post my address but then the "LOBC" (league of belligerent commentors) would beat you here. I am not hard to find, and many of you know who to ask. Now, this invitation does not apply to belligerent nut-jobs, just real people with real discussions. If you see me out and about please feel free to stop and talk. I don't dislike you, I dislike your idea, and that's the long and short of it. Change my mind. Also, let me state for the record, that if you do stop by or we do talk, it will not be spoken about on this site or any other, it will be between us. If you honestly can convince me that the "no-plan" idea is a good one, I will dedicate this site to passing the tax. 

There it is, in writing, my opinions, my true feelings. I am sure for some of you this cleared up many things. I am sure for some of you it did nothing but enrage you more. And by the way, can you think of a better way to help make things better for everyone than allowing open and healthy discussion on an important issue such as this? The only problem is that I am having a hard time finding the "open" or "healthy" part in these discussions. Of course I am an idiot, so what do I know anyway.

P.S. All comments are welcome. All will be posted, the only editing will be for vulgar or abusive language towards others. Abuse me all you want, I am used to it.

 

Well, What do you know about that.

PARENTAL ADVISORY: THIS POST CONTAINS TRUTH, WHICH MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS: VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

An individual recently left a comment on a fellow blogger's site railing on my post on whether Monticello will get what it needs from a tax.

HERE I will link to my post that got all of this started in the first place so that you may easily compare what I said to what he says I said. I will link to his comment here

Now lets begin at the beginning which is always a good place to start.

First learn the difference between a news site and an opinion site.

I stated the old tax was for ten years in everything I can find in that post.

Second point is that he is basically telling you that you will not get better streets to drive on if you pass this tax because no matter how much money you give the city they won't be able to afford it which just shows bad budgeting skills to begin with.

His comment on municipal sales tax is true, we are in the median, but I do not see this as an excuse to jump to the next level up without better planning and communication.

What are the real reasons that industry has not located here. Please enlighten us. We have a building, labor force with skills in place, housing, food, water, good schools, decent medical facilities, what are the real reasons? Is it because the few people that actually run this town, and I am not talking about the MEDC, Mayor, city council, or Chamber of Commerce, DON'T WANT ANOTHER INDUSTRY COMPETING FOR THEIR LABOR FORCE. Is it that we are unwilling to give tax breaks to new industry? Is this one of the incentives you speak of? Is it because that the people that don't want other industry competing for their labor force have conveniently bought up over 80 percent of the property in Monticello that is appropriate for industry to locate on? I just don't know.

Are you telling us that years and years of experience achieved by our fine citizens at Burlington, Chase Bag, Exopac, Dura Craft, Monark, and others was wasted? I know people that are driving to Dumas, Crossett, Arkansas City, and Pine Bluff, to make good money with those "useless" skills of which you speak. If you are going to win the hearts and minds of those voters you seek so desperately, please don't tell them their hard work was wasted and their skills are useless.

No comment on fire station? Police station?

The spec building. Oh my. So what this commenter is saying is that the MEDC has a budget for paying interest on loans that it took out to build the empty building and pay for the land. Loans that are probably at local banks owned by members of "LERG", who I am sure would rather see the building sold and occupied than continue to receive those interest payments. Yeah and Harry Potter is a real boy, pigs fly, and I am a six foot six 140 pound Latin male supermodel.

Now the only comment that truly angered me. The fact that I even remotely suggested that Monticello was "bad-off". I never stated that. If you read my post again paying closer attention to the end this time you will see that I stated the opposite. I will link to my post here

and let you be the judge. If anything the "pro-tax" group is saying that Monticello is so "bad-off" we need this tax or it is going to get even worse.

Now so far there has been no argument to the "if I pass the tax can you assure me that the cost of municipal services won't increase" question.

As far as population, what does that have to do with the issue at hand? If I had stated that Monticello was a bad place or "bad-off" then an argument could be had, but I did not so no argument needed. But, if I must comment, I already stated why in my original post. Because people in Monticello can drive a short distance and make money with the skills that they learned right here at home. Those same skills that you consider useless. There is no need to uproot family members and homesteads. I know one person that drives every day to Crossett to work for the City Housing authority. Another that drives to Dumas to work at a factory as a maintenance supervisor. If I know two people and I never go anywhere, how many are there really?

Now as far as the public slaughter of city officials and the MEDC specifically. Give me a moment to read my post again................. okay I am back, the MEDC is never mentioned in my post, and as far as the slaughter of city officials, is it slaughter to ask them to explain themselves and their decisions to the people who elected them? Is it slaughter to ask them what our money is being used for? I have always been told that if your cause is just and true you will defend it with honor, humility, and dedication to fact, and that fighting "taxation without representation" is how this country began. I have not been approached to explain my point of view, I have not been approached to discuss my point of view. I have been approached and asked to change my point of view. I have even been "told" to change my point of view. But instead I will give you questions to ask, the answers they will give, and the follow up questions you should ask.

What will the tax dollars be used for? Their answer, Infrastructure, community development, and economic development. Follow up: What specifically is infrastructure? Their Answer: It could be anything from street improvement, city service enhancement, or general improvements to make this a better place to live. Follow up: Yes, but what specifically are you wanting to enhance or improve? This is where the conversation will end. Then they will hand you one of their shiny new pro-tax buttons and there you go. (They had three hundred of them made they have to do something with them.)

Let me state this for the record: I AM NOT AGAINST A TAX IF THE USE OF THE MONEY IS PLANNED, PUBLIC, AND APPROPRIATE TO THE GOOD OF ALL. Come to me with a plan on how to specifically make Monticello better and I will shout it from the mountaintops. Come to me telling me how this tax "could" make Monticello better if that is what we decide to use the money for and sorry folks I can't help you. Remember, if there is no specific plan there is no accountability. No accountability..... no motivation to do the right thing.

In conclusion let me state again. I love Monticello, but it is in trouble. Not a bad place, but in trouble. You tell people to do their homework before choosing sides, I suggest that you side with people that have done theirs. You say that Monticello needs the tax, tell me why. Don't just say we need it, tell me why we need it. I can only surmise by the rather scripted comment you left that the "LERG" has gotten to you. I will make you a deal right now. You pass this tax for unspecified needs, and a few months from now when the county comes to you asking you to dip into your wallet again for a tax "specifically" for a new Library and "specifically" for hospital improvements you be as vocal in your support.

That is how you stop that....

Anyone have that annoying older aunt or uncle that at every wedding comes up and pokes you and says "your next". Irritating isn't it. Well, next time you are both at a funeral, do the same to them.

More stupid stuff I think about......

1. Can you cry under water?

2. How important do I have to be to get assassinated and not murdered?

3. If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn't he fix the hole in the boat?

4. Why do people go up in tall buildings and then put money in binoculars too see things on the ground?

5. Where does corn oil come from... where does vegetable oil come from.... where does baby oil come from?

6. What disease did cured ham have?

7. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

8. Why does a dog get mad when you blow in its face but hang its head out the window when riding in a car?

9. How did we put a man on the moon before wheels on luggage?

10. If electricity comes from electrons then morality comes from.......... Morons?

11. Round pizza, square box.

12. Threw, through, thru, three words three meanings. Bob, bob, bob. What the heck?

13. We drink Soy milk, but have you ever seen a soy teet.

14. For those of you who don't believe in bigfoot.... why don't you? Because you have never seen him. Ever seen a baby pigeon?

15. Why do we call a device that allows us to roam freely around the world and still stay in touch a "cell" phone?

16. What does a fire-drill in China really look like?

17. What idiot saw an egg fall out of a chicken's butt and wondered "can I eat that?" ( I have a whole adam and eve garden of eden theory on that one, let me know if you are interested and I will post it.)

18. Person who fights fires-firefighter. Person who fights bulls-bullfighter. Person who fights other Person-Boxer.

19. Figured out the third bob yet?

20. Why do people complain about how a baby keeps them up all night and then when they finally do get some rest the say they "slept like a baby"?

What Does Monticello Need? (and will a tax get it)

What does Monticello need? It is a good question actually. Here is a rundown of a few of the most important things that we need in Monticello and how we go about getting them.

Jobs. Probably the key to all other things we need. Will a tax get them? No

Industry. Of course it is easy to see that securing new industry will get you new jobs. Will a tax get that? No. Most industries consider the bottom line profit very important. If they are going to have to pay higher taxes to do business here when they could locate thirty miles away and still get our labor force because we will drive the thirty miles for a good paying wage they will.

Medical. We have decent health facilities here. But, they could be much better. Will a tax get you that? No. It should but it won't you know it and I know it.

Skilled Labor Force. Interestingly, we already have one of those somewhat. Many people worked at industries that have now closed for a large portion of their lives. They are skilled in many aspects of industrial mechanics, engineering, and production. Why could we not focus our efforts on bringing industry here that needs the type of skills that our residents are already trained to provide? Doesn't sound like rocket science to me. But, maybe that is just me. Will a tax get you skilled labor? Doesn't need too.

Street Improvements. Will a tax get you that? It should, but it won't. Let me defend that statement. The tax that will be ending has already been in effect for ten years. Now answer this honestly. Is the street you live on any better than it was ten years ago? Are any of the streets you drive on better? What do you have to show for ten years of being a loyal taxpayer? Your city owns W.C. Whaley School. An empty building in an empty industrial park. A sports complex that could be used as a pool and a pool that will never pay for itself and is falling apart already three weeks after renovation. And by the way, that's pretty much it.

Police and Fire Station. Will a tax get that. It should, the jury is still out on whether it will or not.

Now the proliferators of the "tax is good" stance will be coming out in force soon. Their battle plan is laid out and it is quite crafty (I know because I have it). You are going to be bombarded by radio, television, newspaper, and personal visits. Now they will not be able to tell you specifically what the money is going to be used for, because they don't know. Heck, they can't even account for the last ten years worth of money. Now to some they are going to promise that Jordan Park is going to be renovated. It's not going to happen. To some they are going to use fear tactics like an increase in price for city services like water and trash pick up. Ask them if the tax passes can they assure you that there will be no increase in cost for those services in the next fifteen years anyway. They won't be able to. I doubt in the last ten years that we have already been paying a tax there has been no increase in water, sewer, or trash pickup rates.

Now I have noticed lately that our Mayor has been rather tight lipped concerning the tax. It seems that since the idea of a community center was over-ruled he has been less than supportive of a tax. When you are approached, when you have the opportunity, ask one of these proliferators of "tax" why when the list was made of people that would be good to interview for a "pro tax" message for radio, t.v., and newspaper....... why the Mayor of our fine city's name was not on that list. Then go one step further, go ask the Mayor why his name is not on the list.

The folks who want this tax who will from now be known as the "League of Extraordinarily Rich Gentleman" or the "LERG" for short, will use many tactics to sway your opinion. They will tell you this tax is what Monticello needs to grow. Folks it is not about growing anymore. Monticello needs to survive. Growing can come later. If Monticello does not survive it will never grow. How many dead plants have you seen bloom? And folks, our fine city is on life support right now and the "LERG" is standing in line to pull the plug.

Ladies and gentleman, please listen to me very carefully right now, and take me very seriously. I have lived in this city all of my life. I was born here, grew up here, made big mistakes here, had great success here. I love Monticello, you will find no one that loves it more than I do. Many of you know me and know that I am no dummy. Many of you that read this don't know me at all. This is my home, it is the place I will always call home. And it is in trouble. A tax will not save it. the "LERG" aren't trying to save it by passing a tax that has no designated purpose, that is easy to figure out. The only ones that can save it are you and I. How do we do that, by demanding better for our home. By not standing silent any longer and only asking among ourselves "why?". It is time to take a stand. Time to stand up for something that cannot stand for itself. It is time to take a stand for our home. To stand one and all for Monticello.

You know I noticed something the other day. If you stand in the middle of the town square and look around you it is easy to see what is worth fighting for. But if you stand on the first tee at the country club........ you can't see Monticello at all.

Toys..

I was thinking this evening, for no particular reason, about toys. Interestingly I told someone special tonight that I had nothing to write about and then boom here this comes. So here we go with "Toys I Remember.

Shrinky Dinks

Rubik's Cube. I remember when they came out)

Armatron.  I know where one of these is and I may end up buying it just for nostalgia's sake.

Atari 2600 game console. Love me some "River Raid". I actually have it for the Playstation 2.

Radio Shack TRS-80 model three computer. It had a cassette player that plugged into it and that was where the programs were stored. Yes, an actual cassette like you would use in a car stereo. For those of you born after say.... the late 80's look up cassette on Google. 

Stupid Things I Think About.

The 8 facts post gave me what I think is a great idea. Post some of the stupid things I think about. So here we go.

1. Is there a such thing as a dead-end one-way street?

2. Why is it illegal to possess drugs but not to consume them?

3. How long did it take before the inventor of the paper clip finally "got it right"?

4. Has everything good already been done?

5. Did Oswald act alone. A former boss and myself flew to Dallas on a whim one evening to try to find out. One of my readers may remember that?

6. Why does a duck's opinion of me depend so highly on whether or not I have bread in my possession?

7. Who heard a dog bark and decided it sounded like bow-wow?

8. Why does my car only fail to start when I am leaving to do something I "want" to do not "have" to do, and why should I be surprised? 

9. If two plus two always equals four..... what good is it?

10. If Jeff Noble leaves going north to a city council meeting and I leave going south to the same meeting and Jeff receives two calls on his new I-phone while en-route, what is the probability that he will not answer either one and that upon arriving we will discover that our elected officials are still idiots?

11. Why do I want a stack of pancakes so badly for breakfast but then am so quickly sick of them once I begin eating.

12. If your dog could talk would he bother?

13. How do they know nine out of ten dentists prefer the taste of Colgate? Are there only ten dentists?

14. If I took my "area rug" out onto the porch would it then become a mat? And could I then get the new one I need cheaper?

15. Floor mats? Are there any other kind?

16. If I put peanut butter and jelly between two pieces of bread is not a sandwich just because it doesn't have the tangy taste of Miracle Whip?

17. Is Maury's favorite singer still Peter Cetera (In your eyes playing on itunes made me think of that)

18. What is that cat thinking?

19. Why can't we all just get along?

And finally

20. Aren't you glad God does not believe in the old saying "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"? 

CRAP!!!!

Well I have prided myself on being slightly mysterious. In fact I think only one fellow blogger actually knows who I am, but K.T. over at momma-tude has figured out a way to get me to open up a bit more. And, being that the blogger code, unlike the pirate code, is more than just a set of guidelines, here we go with 8 facts about me.

1. I am a certified Jeweler. I worked at a local jewelry store for ten years as a goldsmith and stone setter as well as a jewelry designer.

2. I am a certified firefighter.

3. I used to be a local radio Disc Jockey.

4. I am lonely all of the time. (and I don't know how to fix it.)

5. I wonder about stupid things. (why does a store that is open 24hrs a day have locks on the front doors? I mean really have you ever gone to E-Z mart and it be closed?

6. I live on one of the streets K.T. mentioned when she talked about flooding.

7. I suffer from a condition called Agoraphobia.

8. I honestly believe no one reads my blog and have been seriously considering not writing it anymore, but it seems to make me feel better when I do write on it. 

They Better Be Glad They're Not In China

China announced today that it executed the head of the Chinese Food and Drug Administration for taking bribes. One shot to the back of the head. I wonder how many of our local leaders read this article and realized how lucky they are. Can you imagine, one of our leaders does something we don't like, maybe passing a useless, unwarranted, and seemingly economically dangerous tax and POW!!!! to the moon Alice. Nothing like the sentence for stupidity being death to give someone a moment of pause. Don't you think?

Be Prepared...

Be prepared people of Monticello. Shenanigans are about to begin. A tax is soon to be proposed to you. For what you say? Verily I say unto thee, no one is sure quite yet. Not even those who are going to propose it to you. The troops are massing on the borders of "common sense" and "your wallet", and the troops will soon be spilling over in a full on frontal attack. The country of "your wallet" is in danger and not nearly as secure as you had hoped. You will not know the real reason they are invading. You will not know the real reason they are here. They come not for your lands, not because of your religious beliefs. they come to enslave your immortal soul for the next ten to fifteen years. Be prepared Monticello. Take up arms and fight the aggressors. Fear not for there are those who will fight with you. Those who will stand beside you. Paint thy faces in the colors of your family and join in the lines of battle. Fight like warrior poets, and win your freedom. 

Where Do You Blog?

I wonder sometimes where everyone does their blogging. Maybe I wonder too much. Pretty much all of my blogging, whether good or bad, is done here on the couch.....

On Love And Loss.

What do you do when the one you love, for whatever their reasons, tells you they don't want to talk to you anymore? What if they tell you it isn't because they don't love you?  And worse, you know that is true. Does it make it hurt any less? No, I think, from what I am experiencing now, that it is much worse.

Yes, I will be alone.

Alone..... by myself.

I will exist in a place,

Where no one will want to see me

No one will want to hear me

Where no one will want to touch me

I will be alone with my thoughts of loss

My mind will exist in a state of confusion

Confused with dreams and ideals

Yet... lacking in reality

I know not where this place is.

I will be apart from the living and not living

But, I will be there

and, I will be there alone. 

Word Of The Day.

Moron: The difference in the way your city officials spend money on idiotic projects compared to useful projects. They spend moron idiotic projects.

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?

This is a question that I used to ask for other reasons but now, it seems fitting to ask it to the people of Monticello. Now that we have come full circle and the vice-president is no longer a member of the executive branch of government, we must turn our attention solely to the matters of local politics. Being that national politics are so messed up that Jefferson, and Franklin themselves could not rescue us from the abyss in which we are about to propel ourselves. What can we do you ask? Good question. And...there is a simple answer. Get up off of the couch and go ask questions. Our local leaders can ignore your phone calls. Our local leaders cannot ignore you if you are standing in their office, or place of business. Go to the Mayor and ask questions, then be prepared for the pouting to begin. Once you realize that your city is being run by Stewie Griffin, then you will understand why things are the way they are. There is always a diabolical doomsday plan in the works to take over the world, there is always another motive to every move that is made. Whether it is to lull you into a feeling that everything is alright, or to appease you with some small trinket or colored piece of cloth when you protest. There is always another motive. Admittedly, there is a motive to what I am writing here. It probably isn't what you think it is. It is to amuse you while at the same time injecting into your psyche, just a tidbit of knowledge and common sense. Now as long as everything is going to plan, the world is a wonderful place, champagne falls from the heavens and velvet ropes part at will. When things are not going to plan meaning when "people are asking questions", faces are red instead of the ropes, and I am not even going to mention what falls from the sky. Listen, if you ask your civic leaders a simple question like "Where did all of our money go?" and they look at you like a monkey doing a math problem, then you know things are going badly. So, go ask your leaders where millions of dollars have been spent over the past ten years.......OH, be sure to bring bananas.

Return Of A Blogger

Well, where do I start? Where have I been? I have been around. Now that we have all that out of the way, let us begin. Well the mayor has removed the community center from the tax proposal. Interestingly enough he did not use the extra space that he obtained to inject fiscal responsibility. Where has the money from the tax of the past ten years gone. I know, you should know, I would tell you but then you wouldn't "learn nuthin." But, if you think the salaries of the public officials, city employees, and other needs for the city have been coming from tax revenue, you haven't "learned nuthin." I know someone who asked over a month ago for some accounting of where the tax money has been spent, and as far as I know, no one knows. Not even the people who have been spending the money.Now, say you went to the bank and there was say 20 million dollars missing from your account and no one at the bank could tell you where it went, would you get upset? Well, then why aren't you upset? Millions of your dollars are gone and no one can tell you where it went. But you aren't upset. Tell you what, just bring me all of your money. I can spend it and not tell you on what or with who just as well as they can. And your not going to say anything about it anyway so why not? Let me "splain" something to you, tax money is like a big community account, you pay it in so that you can use it later. For roads, police, fire, garbage pick up, and so on. So you put the money in and someone comes and withdraws it and puts it in a big pile and sets it aflame, and you are fine with it. Like I said, bring it to me I have matches and lighter fluid.