The Struggle Continues....

As I sit here writing and reflecting on the events of the day with "Elton John" playing in the background I feel pretty good... considering I have been without sleep for several weeks now. When I say without sleep please understand I mean not one moment of sleep. Up for almost two weeks now. Last night I asked God to quiet my mind so that I may get some rest. I repeated it over and over and the next thing I know I am waking up this morning with the alarm clock blaring. I slept. I couldn't believe it. So I asked God tonight what I need to do. I have been in a "soul struggle" for several weeks now. And the first thing that popped into my mind after asking God what I should do was Jeff. Jeff is a friend and Pastor of a local church. So I emailed him for the Sunday Worship schedule. Since I received his reply suddenly I feel calm, my mind is not racing, obsessing, flying away on it's own. And, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Now I don't mean actual physical pain. It just doesn't hurt anymore. It has hurt for along time, years now I would say. Now I am no angel. I have run course through most of the Commandments. But, my heart doesn't hurt anymore. Peter Gabriel (In Your Eyes) playing now. I asked another friend of mine who is a Pastor about attending a new church. He asked if they had Jesus. I said I didn't know. He told me if they did then they are doing just fine. I hope Jesus is there. I am ready to meet him, I think we will have lots to talk about.