Why???

I don't understand, I really don't. What have I done to deserve the hell that my life has become. I call myself a good person, who knows if i really am. I treat women well so I have been told. What has brought me to where I am. I still find myself making decisions based on the actions of my past. It seems to be an endless loop from which I am unable to escape. I try to move past the decisions I have made and continue with my life but I believe now that to be impossible. So I am reserved to re-live everything I have done in horrible nightmares on a nightly basis. People wonder why I am awake at all hours of the night. Well there you go. So if you find posts at strange hours you understand. More to come...please stand by.