No matter where I go there I am.

Have you ever wondered what it was like to hate to go outside. To like the world inside your apartment better than the world outside. well, let me tell you now that it is no picnic. Other than work I leave the apartment once a week maybe and the entire time that I am out I feel like at any moment something dreadful is going to happen. I used to love going out, but not anymore. I don't know anyone anymore. I'm not even sure that I know who I am anymore. I used to talk to many people and be right in the middle of whatever was going on and now I may talk to two people all week. I want to be more outgoing, to be like I once was but I cannot force myself to be comfortable. I'm not sure what to do or what it will take to find who I used to be. I am too afraid to go out and look for myself. If anyone finds me out there somewhere, leave me on the porch and knock twice on the door.