The New Year

Well the New Year is upon us and I eagerly await the number one New Years Eve pastime in the south. Randomly launching all manners of ammunition into the sky at precisely midnight. Yes if you are reading this and you are not from the area let me explain. In the south there is a long held tradition of mixing large amount of alcohol and large amounts of ammunition as if one without the other was not dangerous enough. Men and women of the south enjoy becoming increasingly intoxicated as the evening goes by and then at the stroke of midnight firing all manners of weaponry straight up into the air. There is just one problem with such indiscriminate launching of lead. GRAVITY!!! Yes even in the south what goes up must come down. Southerners have discovered ways around many of sciences proven theories including but not limited to, marrying your cousin is bad, welfare is only for people who can’t work, and alcohol is for special occasions. But, not yet have southerners been able to avoid gravity. So, if you out and about tonight and you notice the witching hour approaching, take cover in your specially designed aerial attack bunker and turn off all magnetic fields, and hope the New Year passes you by and lands in the dirt a safe distance from you.