Haunted Houses

I don't like them. That pretty much covers that. Well, maybe I should elaborate somewhat. I don't like crowds, I don't like ghosts, and I don't like wildaghouls or wookalars. I'm not afraid of the dark I am afraid of what is in the dark. Supposedly there is nothing in the dark that isn't there in the light, but the important difference is that in the light I can see it coming. See when I hear something in the light I can look over and see if it is about to eat me and then I have the opportunity to decide if I am going to let it eat me or protest. In the dark my choices are limited. If I hear something in the dark the probability of protest is limited to whatever time it takes for me to start running tripping over something else I can't see and rendering myself unconscious or as things in the dark call it "tasty". Of course I also firmly believe that evil will find you soon enough without any help from you. Now I am an avid hunter and being that is the case I am often in the woods before light arrives and after light goes to sleep. I know I should be a bit uneasy and sometimes I am. Every hunter has been from time to time. If they say they have not they are what things in the dark call "big fat stinking tasty liars." See for those of you that do not hunt there is a very interesting phenomenon that occurs when you can't see. The volume control of your hearing triples and a squirrel running through the woods sounds like..........well....... a wildaghoul. It is funny sometimes before light breaks when you hear something moving through the leaves and it can only be Bigfoot or an escaped axe murderer and then dawn breaks and it is a squirrel, not even a big squirrel or an armadillo. Nothing sounds more like an entire panzer division invading your hunting blind than a medium sized totally oblivious to your presence armadillo. Oh well, have to get to bed. Going hunting tomorrow morning.

You Are Nothing Without A Facebook

Wow, it is amazing how social networking has grown and evolved through the last twenty years. I still remember mail, party lines, and actually talking face to face. I remember when cell phones did not have texting you still actually called someone if you had a question. I don't have a Facebook page. I used too. It is stupid. When did the time arrive when we decided that our self worth was based on how many friends we have on Facebook. I love people that will sit back and complain about how the government wants to put tracking chips under our skin, in our credit cards as well as our money then post every step they take throughout the day on Facebook for the world and of course the government to see. Now if you sit at home all day with nothing to do but gossip and stir up controversy, well the Facebook is for you. For the rest of us who still leave the house now and then well not so much. See I still enjoy the excitement of seeing someone you haven't talked to in forever and standing on the street catching up. I find it interesting that people you have as friends on Facebook and talk to regularly from your living room are the same people that walk in to the same resturaunt you are eating in and you hope they don't come over to your table. So I suppose that I am in a very silent minority. What else is new?

Something a Bit different.

Well I have been cruising through the local blogs and it seems that the few that have been updated lately are all about religion. Well, this one isn't. Now don't misunderstand, just because God and I have decided to see other people does not mean that we don't still talk from time to time. But, religion is not what I do. So, what do I do you ask. Well we will just have to see about that now won't we.

Self Explanatory

I'M BAAAAAACK!!!!!! More to follow soon.

I Think I Might Be Overthinking...I Think.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?

"Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

A Message To The President.

Many things come to an end. Some because you want them to others no matter what you do to prevent them. I have some very good friends, two to be exact, and soon they will be moving on. Their lives are about to take them in directions far away from me. It is not what I would like to happen but I cannot be selfish. I will miss them and will think about them often. I can only hope that every once in a while they will think of me too. And now to the actual post:

As many of you know and some of you may not it is customary for an outgoing President to leave a note for his successor. A few words of insight or wisdom to welcome the new Commander in Chief. I thought the other day what would I write? What wisdom could in bestow? Well, let us find out shall we?

To ________________________.

As I sit here looking out the window upon the January beauty of the capital of this great nation, I think back too all those who have come before us and all of those who will come after. I know it is customary to leave a few insights to help you on your first day but I think that I could better serve you in this way. After all of the pomp and circumstance of the Inauguration begins to drain away the reality of what is before you will be cast upon you quickly. If there is one thing that I can tell you that you may not have realized this I think may be the most important. Democracy is living breathing creature. It will fight you when you think that you can fight no more and go silent when you are prepared for battle. It lives in the billions of faces in which you will see in your time here. It is like water. Fickle, free flowing, it will make you think that it is weak while the whole time it is carving stone and moving mountains and glaciers. Democracy freely carves its way across this great nation and not unlike water randomly goes underground and sprays forth hundreds of thousands of miles away with steam, passion, and all the fury it can muster. While it quenches your most desperate thirst in one part of the nation in the other it is destructive and does all it can to undermine everything you have built. But democracy, at all times, is beautiful. It is beautiful when the sun sets upon it, when the moon reflects from it and when the sun rises once again. It reflects the faces of all those who look upon it. Remember those who came before us and think of those who will follow. And, never forget that you are a guest here. In closing, Mr. President, the most you can ever hope is that you will do a better job than those that came before you, and we can only hope that we did not make it easy for you.

Sincerely,

J

lower case posts

ok. just so everyone understands. some of my posts will be in all lower case because i am posting from my mobile and it is just easier. now with that said, let's get dow to brass tacks. what does that even mean? my posting has been irregular and my two or so readers are getting irritated so maybe this will let me bring you my witty wisdom more often. so now for something from the complete idiot files. i see where a music teacher in hamburg was arrested for letting underage girls play his trombone. i guess it was only a matter of time till it hit nearby. this stuff went on less when i was in school or maybe it didn't but now with cameraphones and texting these idiots are just getting caught more often. i mean if you send pictures of yourself or texts to a twelve year old their parents just might see them. and anyway, why do eight year olds and twelve year olds need cellphones anyway. are their lives that busy that they need to keep in touch that much. are we going to have to pass a law that says no texting while operating a Big Wheel. be sure to use a handsfree device while drowning naked barbies during bathtime(you know your kids did it too). but in today's information age kids are getting dumber or maybe it is the adults. listen it isn't rocket science, if you are a young attractive female teacher and you are sleeping with a twelve to fourteen year old male student, he is going to tell his friends, and truthfully probably his enemies too. he is a young boy he doesnt know when to keep his mouth shut. and he wants everyone to know, i mean for young males it's like a race to see who can grow up first and if you not only grow up first but you grow up with the cute young teacher that four out of five of your friends want to grow up with too, of course he is going to tell them that's guys for ya, and we don't get smarter as we get older either. so for those of you out there who are thinking about it don't. if you are doing it stop. and i am not even going to comment on the recent event locally other than to say his God was paying attention even though many others weren't it seems.